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Today's issue - Lead through Listening - outlines how to be more effective in your business dealings by truly listening to your customers, suppliers and employees.
Dad
was waiting in the parking lot at the usual time. As the basketball
players left the gym, he noticed his 10-year-old's head hanging low.
When his son jumped in the car, and slammed the door, the father asked,
"How was practice?" The boy replied, "I hate my coach."
This
kind of response did not sit well with Dad. Three thoughts rushed to
his head, all fighting to be delivered in a correcting tone. First,
"I've taught you not to speak so disrespectfully about any coach or
adult." Second, "Are you kidding? This guy is a great coach -- one of
the best." Third, "Do you have any idea how hard I worked to make sure
you were placed on this guy's team?"
For some reason, Dad
chose not to speak any of those condemning thoughts, and instead three
words came out of his mouth, perhaps three of the best words he'd ever
accidentally said: "Tell me more."
His son went on to
explain the events that took place during practice. Dad knew he wasn't
getting the whole story yet, so he added, "What else happened?"
Eventually -- and it took a little while -- the son admitted getting
side-tracked during practice, and getting caught goofing off during one
of the drills and was reprimanded for it.
In the final
analysis, his young son was so embarrassed by the coach's reprimand in
front of the other players that it led him to declare, "I hate my
coach."
Missing The Mark
Dad's first, second and third thoughts -- if delivered immediately --
would have missed the mark by a mile. They were totally irrelevant in
view of the facts, which would never have been revealed if he'd blurted
out his all-knowing speech.
He had been guilty more than once
of jumping the gun with a quick response, but he learned so much more
on this occasion with just three little words: "Tell me more."
The complete story gave him much more insight into his son, how he thinks and how he reacts.
As a business leader, you have the same responsibility a dad has to his
son -- listen, get the facts, determine the problem, and help resolve
the situation.
Today and tomorrow Promotional Consultant Today will look at the art of listening.
When it comes to sharing thoughts, feelings and advice about an event
or business problem, there are two very different types of
personalities. Today we'll explore how to deal with the Fast-Twitch
Responder.
The Fast-Twitch Responder
Some people tend to think their thoughts out loud for everyone to hear
-- often in a very blunt fashion -- then they do the editing in public,
too. They may say, "Here's what I really mean", or, "Let me rephrase
that." They might revise their initial version of the facts several
times.
Typically, the fast-twitch responder quickly offers the
information you're seeking so it may seem as though very little
patience is required on your part.
They don't make you wait
very long, yet if you immediately jump in with your assumptions drawn
and conclusions blazing, you will be making a mistake. This
conversation is a work-in-progress for this quick responder, and it's
far more prudent for you to deliver a well-timed, "Tell me more" or
"---and then what?"
The additional information you receive
next will be worth the wait, as feelings and thoughts become clearer in
the mind of this type of personality.
Tomorrow we'll look at the Slow-Twitch Responder.
Source: David Benzel
is an author and speaker in leadership and creating peak performance.
As the founder of Winning Ways, he has worked with organizations
including Allstate Insurance, Sprint/Nextel and The Villages. He is the
author of the upcoming, Chump to Champ: How Individuals Go From Good to Great.
